2009 Pac 10 CFB Preview

Okay so I could not go another week without NOT writing college football. I'm more excited than Richard Simmons getting ready to do one of his blistering workout videos.

Here is your 2009 CollegeFootball Previews. I will be doing this everyday this week previewing the major conferences, but you'll have to wait to see the SEC and Big 12 (later this week). Lets start out West where the babes are 'smoking' hot, Mercedes are driven like golf carts at your local golf club, and the weather is absolutely incredible.

1. California: 11-1

Unlike USC, the schedule favors the Bears this year. They get USC and Maryland (season opener at home), while their difficult road games will be against Oregon and UCLA (which they will have two weeks rest). The Bears have a well-rounded offense with a returning starting QB (Kevin Riley) and a projected first round running back, Jahvid Best, who rushed for well over 1,500 yards. This is a solid team who returns a tone of starters on offense, not to mention they are coming off a huge bowl victory over the “U.” I expect Best to carry the load (though the Golden Bears defense is their strength) and march the team to a Pac 10 title. Sorry Pete Carol, you’ll have to pass the torch for at leas tone year. (Note: Please do not find this shocking. Cal was number one in takeaways and second in scoring last season in the Pac 10 Conference.)

2. USC: 10-2

After QB Aaron Coorp went down with a leg injury, Freshman QB Matt Barkley will start in the opening game verse San Jose State at the Coliseum in Pasadena. USC Coaches have praised Barkley since he arrived on campus in January. Barkley graduated early to get an early grasp on the playbook. With a first-year QB, I expect the Trojans to be in a lot of close games. Yes, we know that Pete Carol’s teams are deep at all positions, but when your star player is a defensive guy (Taylor Mays), then you know it’s a “somewhat” down year. Not to mention their rough schedule (@ Ohio State [[2nd week]], @ Cal, @ Notre Dame, and @ Oregon). This does not make USC a “bad” team, just a slow year for a premier program.

3. UCLA: 8-4

Rick Neuheisal will have a much better season than last year because he’s got a load of talent back. 17 returning starters equal a better record and a better year for the Bruins team. However, their one BIG problem … who will be their Quarterback? Redshirt Freshman Quarterback Kevin Prince will be relied on heavy. The Bruins return three All-Pac 10 players including DT Brian Price who is projected as a first round draft pick. Mark my words; UCLA will be the most improved team in the Pac 10. But first, they will have to travel to Knoxville in Week 2 and prove they are here for good.

3. Oregon: 8-4

The Ducks have some of the best athletes in the entire nation, but open with a game in Boise, Idaho that is the Broncos biggest game of the decade on the “smurf turf,” while it’s Oregon’s fourth biggest game of their season. They will score a ton of points, but the defense will be the key of the year. They have to replace two huge pieces in the secondary, CB Jairus Byd and SS Patrick Chung, who were the keys to last year’s defense. How they rebound from their Week 1 loss will determine the Ducks outcome early.

5. Oregon State: 8-4

Mike Riley is (by far) the most underrated coach in America for this past decade. In his tenure as the Beavers coach, he’s never lost a bowl game and has beaten Pete Carol’s Trojans twice now. Name me “even” one coach that has done that … hmmm. Obviously, Oregon State will rely heavily on their Offensive Player of the Year last year in Jacquizz Rodgers. But the schedule is a little bumpy for me with games at Arizona State, USC, California, and Oregon. They might have the toughest road schedule in the conference. Coach Riley is one of my favorites in the entire nation, but I have the Beavers struggling a bit this season. Another 8 or 9 win season and a bowl victory will only build Riley’s status up even more at a lower tier school (absolutely nothing wrong with that)!

6. Stanford: 7-5

One sentence should sum this Cardinal team up: One of the most improved teams in the entire nation. Head Coach Jim Harbaugh will make Quarterback Andrew Luck (in his second year) look like an upcoming NFL Drat pick this year. First of all, Harbaugh’s “specialty” position is QB and he will expose Luck unlike some coaches would do with a young Sophomore Quarterback. Nevertheless, the schedule favors the Cardinal. They virtually have their toughest opponents at home (UCLA, Oregon, Cal, and Notre Dame).

7. Arizona State: 6-6

Dennis Erickson is clearly not the answer in Sun Valley. I understand the Sun Devils do not come in with high expectations like last year, but Erickson’s could be fired after this season with no run game, no offensive line, a young defensive line, and a new Quarterback. Not much to say here besides a big GOODLUCK. They’ll have the support (rowdy fans and an inspirational recruiting class), but will they believe in themselves in the middle of the season when they play a gauntlet of talent (starting Oct 24. – @Stanford, Cal, USC, @Oregon, @UCLA, Arizona)?

8. Arizona: 5-7

Good luck Willie Tuitama, you’re their only hope this year after an 8-win season in 2008. The Wildcats will be the most disappointing teams in the Pac 10 Conference this year.

9. Washington: 3-9

Love new Head Coach Steve Sarkisian. He will be able to turn this program around – guarantee – sooner or later. Love the direction the program went. Put it this way, if Sarkisian had Jake Locker, who is one of the prominent QB’s in the nation, he would have been to a New Year’s Day (or better) Bowl by now.

10. Washington State: 1-11

(I think this is where I am supposed to be comical). Well … the record says it all I guess.

"Cooler Talk" Sunday

I have had many ideas and suggestions come to me the past week, so thought I would be generous to share.

First of all, why is nobody watching the 2009 British Open when the initials T.W. are on the top of today's leaderboard? Oh yeah I almost forgot... that's because it's a senior citizen who has not won a major since the 80's -- Tom Watson.

Can we ask for a less entertaining British Open than this one? A tournament that it's galleries are extremely dense, weather that includes: disastrous winds (winds that would even mess Donald Trump's hairpiece up), cold temperatures that would make an eskimo quiver, and fescue that would take hours to find an ostrich egg in -- not so fun.

This may be the most unwatchable golf since LAST YEAR'S British Open. Greg Norman ... or NOT. This year: Tom Watson ... or NOT. Whether it turns into a great story or not (and I will be happy for the guy if he does pull this off), I cannot get passed the course (Turnberry) that looks like a glorified cow-pasture with poorly placed pot-hole bunkers and lackluster talent of previous winners (i.e. John Daly).

Nevertheless, this Open Championship has been a catastrophe for TNT and ABC's broadcast. I personally cannot wait to see the ratings on this diluted and overrated event.

How about some Association thoughts... The NBA Summer League in Las Vegas Nevada is concluding today and I know most will tell you that this is the most irrelevant "thing" to watch, but I am a basketball "guru." Plus I only have a couple quick notes to teams ...

Note to Minnesota: Although Johnny Flynn has looked fantastic these past two weeks, can you order your Jonas Brother (Ricky Rubio) to come over to the states and play anytime soon. I want to make sure he exist.

Note to Ricky Rubio: Minnesota will compete because they have a wonderful talent in Kevin Love who is basically promising to be a "20-10" guy in the next five years. Although your as thin as a broom stick, I believe in you Ricky. Please come Ricky. Please. I beg you. Minnesota needs you like Kevin Garnett needed the Boston Celtics after NOT winning an NBA Championship in over a decade of playing basketball in the "North Star State."

Note to Toronto Raptors: You just landed the Rookie of THe Year (cough) (cough) DeMar DeRozan (cough). Whoops. That was a personal prediction.

Note to Allen Iverson: You have became the 1-800- "Dirty Talk" Line of the NBA off-season. First Memphis. Now Los Angeles. Here's a note for you: (Your not going to win a Championship in either of those two cities in the next three years, therefore they have DANGER ZONES written all over them.) I do not know where the "perfect" fit is, but please find a home soon so you do not become the Brett Favre of the NBA.

Note to self: I need to stop now. I could go on and on...

How about this year's Home Run Derby in which featured 0 home runs by one of the competitors (Brandon Inge). Inge joins Jason Bay (2005 Pirates), Bret Boone (2003 Mariners), Troy Glaus (2001 Angels) for the people who attained that number in a Home Run Derby in the 2000's. Sad. Puppy face sad. Sadder than John Daly's black white checkered board pants that I am looking at right now. In fact, hitting no home runs in a "Home Run Derby," is more sad than any of Daly's outfits that look like decorated birthday cakes.

The All-Star game was fantastic. Intriguing, fun to watch, and lasted a whole two and a half-hours. That's my kind of baseball. Baseball should be played the way the All-Star game is played these days. Every batter gets up there and whacks at the first pitch. I like that... it's a good idea to invest in Bud Selig. On that note...

Note to Bud: Quit making the All-Star game the game that decides home field advantage for the World Series. It's completely ludicrous. I mean can you imagine the Pro Bowl deciding where the "next year's" Super Bowl would be played. What a joke. Quit kidding yourself, and do something right for once.

It has been a delightful week of sports.

Can football start any soooooooner?!?!?!?!

Tuesday Tantrum - - Vol. 16

After a couple weeks off, I am rejuvenated, refueled, and more anxious than Regis is to get off the set of "Regis and Kelly" to write my weekly Tuesday Tantrum column.

So many ludicrous events have happened since I have been gone. From the NBA Draft to ... hold on ... (Yes, I am going to say it) soccer.

Lets start off by talking soccer so I can just get it over with -- sorry soccer fans.

CONFEDERATION CUP:

As an American, it was nice to be a USA soccer fan for 24 hours. But now its over. I am not going to bang on soccer because I do think its much bigger than the NHL, however, did you watch this Confederation Cup Final?

Lets start with my three complaints.

1) The horns being played by South American fans (who were rooting for the U.S.A.). The horns literally sounded like a swarm of bees. I would take the over on 50 percent of America who (most likely) muted their televisions. This was a headache and unnecessary.

2) South American fans. Not only did they blow their horns like a symphony that is opening for the Pope's to speak, but they rooted for the Americans. This was completely out of control because they only rooted for one simple reason. They cheered for the USA Team because Brazil had beaten them in the semifinal game. "Seesh." "Jeesh." No words can describe how this should make American soccer fans feel. What a low way of being nice. This is like Lauren Conrad going to Spencer and Heidi's ("SPEIDI") wedding because she just wanted to show the public how nice she can be... yet faking being happy.

3) There is no specific way of describing how I felt about the 2-0 blown lead by Team USA. Tim Howard may have not been able to save the last (game winning) goal, but the first two were slightly easy. How do you let Brazil score in the first minute of the second half when all the momentum, all the energy, all the power, was on Team USA's side and they absolutely blew it!!!

NBA DRAFT:

Lets start with the winners.

San Antonio Spurs- How does a team with no first round draft picks land DeJuan Blair!?!? (That deserved a combo of exclamation and question marks... don't argue). They already traded for Richard Jefferson -- a "primetime" athlete and scorer. The Spurs are still old and have injury prone issues, but this makes them younger and more reliable. Blair is to the Spurs as Kendrick Perkins is to the Boston Celtics. But he could be a Glen "Big Baby" Davis.

Chicago Bulls- Not to be hypothetical, but IF the Bulls can sign both Ben Gordon and Luol Deng, they are going to be an absolute gem of a team. I thought drafting James Johnson (SF- Wake Forest) and Taj Gibson (SF- USC) were fantastic picks. They got "what could be," two really good backup small forwards that are versatile.

Losers- Insert here: Minnesota right? No. Not worth mentioning. We all know they totally flopped by selecting two point guards in Ricky Rubio and Johnny Flynn (who I adored in this draft). Instead, I'd have to say that the loser of this draft was not a team, it was a player (you could see this from zillions of miles away) Blake Griffin. He is going to a franchise that is ran by the most pathetic GM/Head Coach in the history if the NBA -- Mike Dunleavy."What do you call an NBA coach who's 194-298 with the Clips?" A: "Still employed!!! The guy is a mess, the franchise is a mess, and the team's history is a scale 10 earthquake still rattling. Good luck Blake, history is not on your side.

Letter To The Unemployed

*A BASH TO MR.FLOYD*

Dear Tim Floyd,

On behalf of the University of Southern California we would like to thank you for you slimy grease ball attitude toward our university.

Tim Floyd; Your greasier than a fast-food apron, your a cheap wad who paid "under the counter money" to a recruit (OJ "don't hold the MAYO") who could have went anywhere, and most of all, you cornered yourself so bad, you had to "give up" like Regis Philbin does everyday when he's constipated.

Your a laugh-out-loud kind of of coach. You told your payers in a speech at the USC Basketball banquet that you were not going to leave USC ... period. 12 hours later, your on a plane talking to Arizona directors. Get serious buddy. Your a tremendously overrated coach who proved absolutely nothing in the NBA and now you expose yourself in a sport that's already got enough "sleeze balls." (Note to John Callipari: Your next. Be aware. You do not want to be in a sticky kind of situation like this because it completely ruins a legacy.)

We are proud to say that we fired you because of your lack of a "get it" quality. Now we can go hire Oregon State's Craig Robinson or maybe even "The General" -- Robert Montgomery Knight -- to get us out of this ludicrous situation.

But we owe an apology to ourselves too. We should have never believed you recruited OJ Mayo the right way. We are not even the best team in our area code, UCLA is. (Note to UCLA: you'll be in this position for the next decade after this debacle. Never. Ever. Ever. Everrrr let go of Ben Howland. Make him scream for mercy before he retires.)

So again. Thank you Mr. Floyd (We call you mister because your no longer and never ... ever ... will be ... a Division I basketball coach). You certainly disappointed a beautiful university that prides itself on three things: 1) Football 2) Gorgeous L.A. women and 3) Snoop Dogg.

Sincerely,

So Cal's Best...

Tuesday Tantrum - - Vol. 13 & 14

I feel terrible, but I have not have the opportunity the last two weeks to publish my "TUESDAY TANTRUM" post on here... so here you go -- two late versions of the weekly Tuesday Tantrum article(s)... ENJOY! 

THIS WEEK'S Version

CLEVELAND:

Of course, I have to rip the Lebron fiasco that happened over the weekend.. My opinion – If you want to be cooperate, you have to act cooperate. I’m fine with not shaking hands after the game because it’s in the “heat of the moment,” but grow up and talk to the media. You have your half-hour to calm down and take a shower, now go talk to the media and be a big boy. The reality is – bad blood in sports = fantastic sports. If Rashard Lewis did this, no one would talk about it. But because Lebron did it, it’s a big deal. When you want to be the first billionaire athlete and you have admitted you want to be the CEO, the burden is – you have to show up.

Real leadership is being there at the worst of times. You have to embrace the establishment you have built. You want to be cooperate, be cooperate. You want to be anti-establishment be anti-establishment. Pick a side. If Lebron wants to be this Opera-Starbucks-McDonalds-Nike basketball guy and he wants to be “The King,” you have to lead the kingdom. Once you’re the face of the NBA, it is a classless act to not to embrace the media after a tough loss. As a cooperate icon, you get all the marketing and free publicity…back it up.

CLEVELAND:

Staying in the city of Rock and Roll, what is Eric Mangeni thinking!? In case you have not heard, he is having a “voluntary” (wink wink, nudge, nudge) bus trip for all rookies to go to Hartford, Connecticut. The Browns newly acquainted coach, Eric Mangeni, wants the rookies to take this long bus trip “if they want to” (wink wink wink) and help with his football camp. First of all this is not voluntary, this is mandatory you mine as well say. And it’s completely ludicrous. The reports are saying that no one has complained. Well duh. No rookie is going to oppose to a road trip that “their” new head coach is asking to go on in this tumultuous economy.

Think about the idea for a second… If your boss asked you to go on a 20-hour bus ride to do some of “HIS” charity work… would you do it? The fact of the matter is, it’s totally unreasonable.

Listen, no one complains about Fidel Castro in Cuba. But when the Cubans get the chance, they are hopping on an inner tube. This idea of a 20-hour bus drive (Cleveland-Hartford and back to Cleveland) is completely wacky. Not to mention that Man”genius” has said he is flying to Hartford, but he will rie the bus back with the team. Give me a break. I have nothing else to say, but this is a garbage idea.

LAST WEEK'S Version

LOS ANGELES:

Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum…

WAKE UP! You’re in the Western Conference Finals.

I mean Bynum is playing with about as much enthusiasm as a porn actress filming her 12th scene in nine days. Meanwhile, Odom is having the best “pursuing the inbound throw-in” playoff series in the history of the NBA. But that’s about all he has done productively. But 50 percent of the credit goes to Trevor Arizza for anticipating the throw and actually stealing the basketball.

The two have combined for a whopping 66 points in 201 minutes. How in the world does a legitimate 7’ 11” and 6’ 10” player not produce more? A guy from Glenn College, who has more tattoos than Carey Hart and Dennis Rodman combined and hair that takes away from Donald Trump’s fame, is manufacturing a better playoff series than the two of them together (Chris “Birdman” Anderson).

Get out of Hugh Hefner’s crib Andrew and Lamar… well… just start your trade campaign.

CLEVELAND:

Le”brick” James get your tee times set up because the Cleveland Cavaliers are finished after an overtime Game 4 loss last night (116-114 ORL leads 3-1).

Take the emotion out of it, and say it out loud. I am going to smoke a cigarette. Does that sound right? Read the Orlando Magic’s roster out loud then read Cleveland’s. If you are in a pick up game and you had both rosters right in front of you, who are you going to access on your team… more Cavs players or more Magic players? With the exception of Lebron James and Mo Williams, who is only good when he’s “on,” who else are you taking over Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, Rafer Alston, and of course, the “Dirty Turk” himself, Hedo Turkoglu?

I hope you understand where I am going with this.

Orlando is the better team. Yes, Cleveland was fantastic against the West, but if they somehow-someway make a historical comeback, remember the four teams they lost to (New Orleans, Houston, and Los Angeles twice). Cleveland is your “Fools Gold” of the playoffs.

When you game plan against one guy, it’s pretty easy to figure out. It boils down to players. You may call him “King James,” but he may never wear the crown.

And where did this spectacular Cleveland defense go? That’s all anyone ever wanted to talk about coming into the playoffs. That statement was a gigantic myth. The first eight games the Cavs allowed an average of just 78 points, now they are playing a couple bonified superstars, and the Magic are lighting it up for an average of 100 points a game. Michael Cooper could slow down Larry Bird and Joe Dumars could slow down Michael Jordan. Ok. So Lebron is going to get “his.” It’s the question if his supporting cast can be more productive than toe lent.

Don’t forget that these two franchises are here to stay. But I would consider Orlando the second most attractive city outside Los Angeles for the next decade. They have an uprising superstar, gorgeous weather, no state tax, and Disney World. Orlando has the best opportunity to win multiple championships, not Cleveland – they need to lay some new carpet down and fabricate their team because Bron Bron’s supporting cast “ain’t” doing “it” for him.

Tuesday Tantrum - - Vol. 12

Los Angeles:  

The Los Angeles Lakers and the Denver Nuggets square off tonight in what should be an epic, tatted up, torrid seven-game series. The Lakers are the finesse, sexy, flashy, "look at us" team and the Nuggets have more ink than the Sunday New York Times. Those aspects are a recipe for "dot edu guy" and "tinfoil on my head" guy, because you know these games are going to be close and fans will start going ape nuts with the referees.  

Though I'm not a conspiracy guy, Phil Jackson's team better wake up. Andrew Bynum has shown is immaturity, Lamar Odom is that guy that looks good in the front hotel lobby, but never performs to his hype (GM's drool over players like these, then they falter), and Pau Gasol has been softer than a ball of yarn. His new nickname- "The Soft Pretzel Delight." Yes, Gasol gets his points and rebounds, but he needs to learn how to play physical defense in the lane. He let a bunch of boarder line D-League players drive on him last series (Chuck Hayes, Von Wafer, and Carl Landry). Hey Pau, wake the hell up. You made it to the Western Conference Finals and your not playing YMCA players anymore. The Nuggets are grown men that look like a bunch of Chopper motorcycle riders that want to obliterate everything in site. That being said, when this L.A. team wants to play, they'll play. But I cannot wait for "conspiracy theory guy" or "blame the ref guy" start criticizing the officiating. Let the saga begin...  

Bud Selig:  

Congratulations to Major League Baseball and Mr. Selig. They finally got "something" right. After adjusting the starting times of the 2009 World Series, I would like to give a round of applause to Commissioner Bud Selig. The games have been moved up approximately 40-to-50 minutes earlier. Yay.  

Lets be honest. The only people that were up for last years World Series were college kids, vampires, and NBA beat writers. It was idiotic and totally unnecessary to start games at 8:45 last year and that's a fact. Unlike the NFL, where the Superbowl is kicked off by 6:30 p.m., Major League Baseball did not have their "main event" start until most people were reading their Bible scriptures and closing their eyes. So lets give a big HALLELUJAH to baseball fans around the country. It killed baseball for so long and facts prove the significant effect late starting times had. 16-26 year-olds do not watch as much baseball as their dad. Once again, hail to all in the baseball family.  

Boston:  

Batting in the third spot as a DH for the Boston Red Sox, slugging a whopping .208 for the season with 34 hits with 130 at bats, weighing in at a sweltering 230 pounds... DAVID ORTIZ is wilting. When your the second highest paid "dude" on the team ($13,000,000), you should not go 0-for-7 and leave twelve runners on base EVER as Big Papi did last Thursday in a 4-5 loss to the Anaheim Angels.  

There are three scenarios that I would like to propose.  

1) He is missing Manny Ramirez that bad. With Manny in the lineup, Ortiz was launching balls all over the place since the 2001 year (when Manny got to Boston). 39,47,40,29,52, and 30. Those are how many home runs Big Papi hit with Manny in the lineup. He's yet to blast one in the 2009 season. A donut in the "HR" column does not sit well with a prominent franchise.  

2) Cough "ROIDS!" Cough cough cough... "jeesh," excuse me. Steroids... aachu! Bless you. Cough cough cough. With all the steroid chaos going on this year, he may be deteriorating right in front of our eyes.  

ORRR....  

3) Bib Papi may be just eroding at the age of 33. Wer see it in the NBA, the NFL, and even in MLB... big guys have lots of problems with their bodies. Ortiz's prime may be gone forever. He could be flushing his year/career down the toilet with this performance.  

**My advice: Get the cob webs out of your system before the All-Star break and have a fantastic second half of the season, the Bo Sox fans will completely forget about it... they just want another ring.  

**The Million Dollar Question: OVER or UNDER 20 homers for David Ortiz?

TUesday Tantrum - - Vol. 11

Los Angeles:

Phil Jackon receives entirely too much criticism these days. He's the only coach that could win nine NBA Titles, as he has, and be ridiculed for the "little things." So what if the man has been lucky enough to have Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, so didn't Del Harris and Doug Collins. He took a team that was 31-19 in 1998-1999 and won 67 games six months later. He's made Pau Gasol a "star," somehow manufactured an "I'm so irrelevant, I need to be in the D-League" Shannon Brown a suitable player in the stacked L.A. roster, and not to mention that he has actually won (with Jordan and Pippen and Kobe and Shaq), unlike Harris or Collins.

Listen, if you have a higher IQ than an avocado, then you should realize that it is ludicrous to think that Phil Jackson is overrated. "See ya" in the NBA Finals Cleveland. Be prepared to lose in five because when Kobe laces up his "low-top Kobe IV's" and Andrew Bynum eventually wakes up from Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion, L.A. will be ready to roll. Everyone can stick to their Denver Nuggets prediction because they are playing the most efficient basketball, but I will keep my reservations (that I've had since October -- jmccracken.blog.com/2008/10/) for a team that has proven themselves over the past decade.

Clemons:

If anyone listened to the "Mike and Mike In The Morning" radio show this morning, you'll know where I am going with this...

This guy is unbelievable. As fans, we are getting hosed. Roger Clemons must assume that "we" are all just a bunch of stupid idiots. I'm talking everybody too. Not just the fans, but teammates, media, agents, trainers, and even God (I think) - he thinks we're all dumb.

He's got this new PR agent and he clearly butchered this statement after being asked why we should believe he has never taking any substances. "Common sense, our family has a history of heart conditions... my stepdad died of a heart attack...I mean it'd be suicidal for me to take any of these dangerous drugs" Uhhh, Roger, your stepdad had a heart attack? You can't merry into heart disease You take vowels Roger. You do not take her DNA. What a moronic thing to say. That's like saying, "Her dad had two seven-foot tall kids, my kids are going to be huge." (Haha)... pathetic.

He tries to "play" us like a Jeff Dunham puppet show. What a horrible, disgusting liar. Not on is he greasier than a fast food apron, but he lied to wis wife for years. If he can lie to Debbie, he can certainly lie to you. Like him or not, he's a total buffoon.